Are the apostrophe’s days numbered? And if so, should we care?

I like to imagine that long ago, before PCs and Macs - or even typewriters - were invented, some hapless freelance writer had the task of writing an inventory. Sir Percival, his sword he wrote. Sir Percival, his lance. Sir Percival, his shield. Sir Percival, his breastplate. He sighed. Sir Percival had a lot of stuff. He looked back over the list he’d written and noticed that he’d written the word his an awful lot of times. A thought struck him. Dipping his quill back into the ink, he wrote: Sir Percival’s saddle. And so the apostrophe was born.

A myth? Well, yes. In reality the English language borrowed the apostrophe from the French, and they in turn owe it to a 16th-century engraver called Geoffroy Tory. But it’s a useful myth, because it reminds us that the apostrophe is usually an indicator that letters are missing.

The ‘missing letter’ theory would have helped the writer of a direct mail letter I received recently, with the subheading: YOU’RE FINANCE OPTIONS. To which the only sensible response is, no I’m not. It would also help the local publicans whose notice proudly proclaims: Pub food at it’s best. Knowing that you’re is short for you are and it’s really means it is would have helped the writers in both cases.

But does it matter? If someone texts your wonderful we still know we’re being complimented. If they email Im still in the office we don’t wonder who Im is. People who ‘know’ good English like to tut and roll their eyes and fuss about the decline in our language, but academics know it’s not a decline, it’s a change. Writing in English we no longer use thou or ye, just as we no longer use aa to denote a long vowel sound (except in words like aardvark). Centuries of use erode certain words and reshape the language. Life goes on. Maybe apostrophes are like the fairies in 'Peter Pan' – if we stop believing in them, they’ll die.

For the copywriter, however, life’s a bit simpler. We need to know our stuff. We’re representing a brand, and a piece of copy with a missing apostrophe - or one in the wrong place - is like sending a client into a sales pitch with his fly buttons undone, or her skirt tucked into her knickers. Not everyone will notice, but some will. And those who do notice will snigger, and think less of the brand as a result.

Copywriting isn’t just about campaign themes and headlines. It’s a craft, and getting the details right does matter. No brand can afford to make prospective customers wince at a schoolboy mistake. Only today, I was looking around a famous clothing brand’s website and came across: our tailoring is showed off to it’s best with this handsome dinner suit.

I quit the site there and then. If they’re not prepared to invest in competent copywriting, I’m not investing in their suits.